on with my story. k so i told you about the whole mick thing right? & did i mention J.W.? ok, yes. well that was what wens, so this happened this last friday. 
so i was doing exactly what i said i was going to do & pretend i dont know by just going about my day. hey i'm a good actress what can i say? so i talk to nick 2x's that morning. the 2nd time i'm walking along side him heading to class, didnt even realize it was him. then i look over & he's got this odd grin on his face. (me: wha???) i ask him "whaatttt?" & he says 'nothing.' & then we talk about some other stuffs before parting ways. so first i'm heading to 4th period biology,k? j.w. puts his arm around me & i jump & say "god dont do that you scared the crap out of me" he says sorry & we walk a few more feet before i go up the stair & he to his class. then comes the middle of 5th period aka Encore class aka 2nd lunfch for me. Go to talk to shay at her locker before going to get lunch. j.w. comes up next to me & puts his arm around me yet again. & says to shay "we look good together dont we? wouldn't we make a good couple?" shay says "yeah" & then ask if we're hooking up. j.w. says "yeah" & i laugh joking back "yeah, shay riiiiiggggghhhht." question is j.w. goofing off or being serious? how perplexing!!! so then end of school walking out to bus with jessi (who i'm now calling jayjay- i love giving my friends nick names! ^^) & come acrossed mick. (mick is nick for those of you who are fallowing this & may have forgotten ^^) I say hi & we hug. then he states the obvious that he has to go that way as he's walking. there you have it. my set up for this weeks oncoming drama. what cruel twist will fate throw at meh tis time i wonder. hmmm...??? & whats with the guys liking me so much lately, i'm only acting how i always to & dressing as i always do, more teeshirts witj my cargo(s) maybe but thats it. now what is fate playing at?? seriously i'm fearing this week somewhat b/c i know i'm going to end up going out with one of tehm, but you know something always ends up happening. so what do you think of that, huh?

   oh, & i forgot to metion that homecoming was jayjay & brentons engagement anversary. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! dont wory i gavce them my happy wishes at fall feast sinbce i ran into them before i left. note: brentons not so bad when he's not on the phone, lets just say he annoys the lights out of me on the phone, hence me not calling the kid.

   ok, now for the absolute freakiest things to hit me other than this illness which has befallen me this weekend. yeah all i'm sick coughing & what not with a fever-not cool. the dream i had last night. most of its fine, noramla nonsense stuff that at least fits together. but some how i ended up out side a school, in a parking lot under the somewhat spotty shad of a large treee with one of my guy friends (hope it wasnt nick due to what happens next). so who should i find the but the kevin guy, who wrapped his arms around me said " you look really pretty you know that right?" & somethng else i cant remeber & kissed me full on. (me:    WHAAAA?!?!?!) my guy friend seemed hurt by it & walked off when keven pulled away. now what was all that aobut? some body tell me pretty plz!!!!!
eh, well here's some poetry i've written. yes i know yay more (possibly sarcasm from some of you, i know ^^) jkinjking). hope you like.

sitting on your concrete door step, beneath the angel guarded door
look at the last spot we stood two days before
all the shaded figures have left it behind them in the rain
but alli can do is stay frozen for ever with repeating memories
the last character in our book of life tragedies
as the final sunsets on your heart
i rewrite the promise on your walls in crimson paint
for the final time i'll lay down beside you
no one will remeber the story of two sleeping ghoust
& the final days long behind us, before i went to sleep.
-raven crow

_____________________________________________

bleed in blakc tears
the sarrow of a thousand pains
all the days we tried to heal, only brings back memories

still on this moonlit night night there's  a fading chance
even when everythings fixed for a moment
nothings free from hate & all that killed me.
   -raven crow
_____________________________

i think i'll do some more poetry later in a seprate entry from my regulars, because they get longe. but just a little ^^. yes these are mine & apprieciate no one coppying them. love you all!
i also wrote a new song or two today i'll later be posting. & finally here's some sayings i wrote.

roses are red
blood is too
i'm so sorry i had to die for you.

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sing me a luliby soft & sweet
tell me you love me while i sleep
hold me close & kiss me goodnight
say to me the last goodbye
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you know they say that a monster is on the loose
a killer whose been seeking revenge
but then never linked your diapearence of last week
when you runaway with me.
-----------------------------------------------------------

tonight a 1000 heart will bleed for you
& i will try to write out your memories.

ok hope you enjoyed this one. wish me luck on getting better. <3 all! laters....

CANCER-toady's

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

You are being asked for a yes or a no. While making a difficult decision about your future is tough to do in a day, luck will be on your side if you make the more radical choice. Big changes favor your long-term development.

hmm... well what else can i find here??? maybe i should try & look up family trees again, but its so complicated with the lack of info. GRRR!!!! such a pain. hmm well ill post that next. yes all, im trying to get some family history. why? well its really a long story. i meen other than the fack i dont really know who im decended from, i want to know just a tad bit more about them. see i dont know much about my family, even the currently present. all for good reasons i know that but dont know what those reasons are. im calling this my quest. well at least for the moment.

HAPPY B-DAY Cwisty!!!!

later all.....